Fischer's First Bath

I really geared up thinking that this would be a Renee style bath pushing at least 45 min. I was mistaken. It was an in and out and really not all that much cleaner than the start. Although I have to be honest and say that I have claimed such past experiences as a proper bath. So I guess it still counts.

Grand-Moltar's Day Parade

The much anticipated arrival of the Grand-Moltar(AKA Beth Moss) and new aunt (Kelli Moss) Emotions and diapers were flying.

Post Birth Week

We have just been in baby haven lately. I personally have logged 40,000 cries to date. Fischer is a true joy and a great enhancement to our lives. Not to our REM sleep however. We had a great time visiting with my pseudo family Jose y Maureen.



@ 47 seconds turn up the volume and you can hear an actual fart. Our doctor wanted us to put her in some other positions and give her a little exercise. Here is the result.


Also this was a landmark conversation with me talking about touring through part of Central America, and all Renee could think of was Chicken buses.

Introducing Fischer Elizabeth Moss

8lbs 3oz. We had an amazing birth. Renee had an intense labor which lasted around 24 hrs. We gave it our all to deliver naturally not knowing that nature had bestowed on us a 37cm head. Although we had come far to holistic side it was a pleasant reminder that modern medicine still has an important place. We rushed into surgery around 2:00 and little Fischer popped out at 2:42 am.

When they had removed the baby the doctor held her up butt facing me and the lips of the vagina were very swollen. So I had plenty of doubt when I announced that our little Fischer was a boy. Then the whole room responds Nooooo, and then I said "Girl"?








Her first Video.



First Sip.

Nuffin Noffin's real final womb appearance

Yes the oven has definitely been kind to the Nuffer. We were 8 days over the due date Dec 7th and the Nuffer was not moving much. We had to spy on it one more time for safety to make sure that everything was functioning properly. As you can see there are ample cheeks to squeeze.

Fruit Market Saturday

As our first fruit market run began last Saturday, I thought that the only thing that would get me up that early would be hungry Nuffer. I was incorrect. Sans Nuffer, we embarked on another Saturday 4:30 am wake up for an organic fruit market. It is kind of cool to see all the other Uva moms there and load up on some great food. However the wake up can be kind of brutal.



Another advantage to following Uva to the market is reading her car bumper stickers which are a must see. I snuck out in the market to properly document them.

Morning Walks

With many false labors and fake Nuffers, we are still walking. In order to divert our talks from our usual topics which include:
When is the Nuffer coming?
I wonder if its a boy or girl?
What do you want to eat?

I have really taken some delight in our morning walks and even more in the characters at arrive at the track around 6:30 am.



Although I was not able to get one of my favorite characters who looks like a walrus and wears an army shirt with pink pants, I still consider these videos a successful documentation.



This contains the fake water spray that happens every day. It scares no one.



I keep forgetting my whip every day.

Hiking near your due date

Always medically safe to hike around 7,500ft while you are days off your due date. Here are some videos of us at Poas. Live volcano here outside San Jose.

Baby preparations

Baby preparations take 1. As you can see this is a serious event. Renee actually refers to our car here as a one door as well.

Nuffin Noffins final womb appearance

Final ultrasound complete. Pre-Registation at hospital, check. Come to papa Nuffer.

Walks

We started trying to take more walks as per Uva's advice. The baby as she says is sitting a little too high still. The term used to describe the belly dropping in the final stages of labor is called lightening. Carrie has already had lightning and this is highly coveted by Renee. We have started getting up at 6 am to start our walks to that the baby will drop. Its a great time and very beautiful up here in the mountains. This time also affords me with 200 options to make false alarms on lightening.

Thanksgiving

We had a great thanksgiving with some friends Brian and Carrie and Uva "the grape" This photo of the bellies was talked about with Renee for months prior. That is a 14 lb turkey, 2 bellies, 2 babies. Isabella Taylor Bratton (7 lb 11 oz) and the baby soon to be formerly known as the Nuffin Noffin (8 lbs 7 oz). As suspected the cooking and preparations took place 48 hrs in advance. My grandma Jean told me that I should get used to not having Renee cook and that this thanksgiving was going to be very different. It was during this exact time that I was called in to help empty the turkey brine that had marinated for a full 12 hours. I told my grandma that actually it was quite opposite and a quote from Matt Waters came to mind. "That girl loves to eat" -MW.

Regulators- Mount up

These crazy videos can only be explained by the fact that in all the madness of packing I somehow had believed that the baby was coming the next day. So I guess this video shows what you need to do to prepare for a birth/pack combo.

Couvade syndrome

Of the 4 pictures above Renee floating on a raft is pretty self explanatory. However the other ones are something that fall under the couvade category.

Wikipedia defines couvade syndrome as - is a psychosomatic condition in which an individual close to an expectant mother, commonly her partner, experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior as the mother near the time of labor.

Guilty as charged.

When we first found out that we were pregnant, I was actually the reason for us going to the hospital. There was a brief stretch where I would walk out of my office and lie down and had begun to nap because I was feeling nauseous and tired. I kept telling her that something was wrong and strangely she was feeling the same. We deduced that it was a bad watermelon that was used for Gazpacho and we had mild food poisoning. While we were around San Jose I told Renee that I should have my stomach checked because something was feeling weird down there. As we were making our appointment Renee was making the Spanish jokes about me being pregnant. Someone was pregnant, it just wasn't me.

Thank god that I did not have one of those pot bellies that men get. My couvade was limited to slight morning sickness and heartburn. But it did allow me to run around the house and sing My my my my couvaddddddddaa. Like my sharona.

The funniest of the photos above is the ultrasound pictures above. The funny thing is that they are mine. Renee had gone back to the states last May I was here and still could not figure out what the stomach issue was. The doctor suggested that they check the abdomen. And 20 bucks for who can guess what that means. Well, its a guy getting an ultrasound (yes weird goo on the belly an all). I had my ultrasound about 2 months after Renee had her first. I can say that I was almost peeing in my pants with laughter when I found out they wanted to do one on me. I also wanted to pee in my pants because the doctors need to measure the bladder full and empty and then proceed to mash on your stomach.

When Renee returned home she saw the ultrasound pics on her desk and assumed that they were hers. However after closer examination I had to come clean about what had happened and realized that my couvade had reached an all time high.

I got it!

I had to take advantage of a rare moment to document this. I can only imagine this collateral being replayed on a loop. Definitely mirror and closet activated. Skinny jeans? Mine are just blue.

The feets

Every night no matter where I am, I am ambushed by "the feets". Let me bring you up to speed on the background on the feets. The feets, due to pregnancy edema, are swollen. I (the person who has caused this) rub the feets. The cream or as I call it "Oils and Lubricants" normally ambushes me every night. The lubricant is strategically placed around the house in the common areas. I have many times sat down on the couch and been sneak attacked by the lubricant. It sometimes will be wrapped in blankets, nestled in the corner, or in the bed. The funniest of which is the latter.

One all to common scenario is when I think that Renee has forgotten about the feets. I will be crawling into bed in complete darkness and will lay my head down smack on top of the oils and lubricants. Normally this makes me laugh because its so ridiculous that my bed is booby trapped by this impostor lubricant sleeping on my pillow. Also its so strategically positioned that you could actually think that the lubricant is actually sleeping there and you are the impostor. It usually cracks me up and I say "what in gods name is this lubricant doing in my bed".

The feets also are there own entity entirely separate from Renee. I like to think of them as if they have acquired some sort of AI. Since I rub the feet every night, I must know what to do when the foot is placed on me. These feet are all to wise to ignore. If ignored they will wiggle, disrupt vision, and grind into your back. This whole cat and mouse game always ends with the feets being rubbed and me trying to not use any lubricant.

I have used the following excuses.
It will ruin the couch.
No, no lubricant tonight.
My wrist hurts.
I can't find the lubricant. This is the same as when I hide the lubricant. There are always backups.

After conceding I usually will yell out. "And every night I rub the feets", in voice that is kind of a mix of Braveheart and Silence of the Lambs. And thus commences the 252 nd foot rub of the pregnancy.

Villas Caletas Sunday Brunch

This weekend we ducked into Caletas for a must needed relaxing Sunday. Renee has just now started having trouble sleeping and has sought out such aides as frozen pees, washcloths, frozen washcloths, tiger balm, and an ungodly amount of pillows. I walked into the living room and saw her sleeping in what could have been construed as the couch equivalent to a straight jacket.

Sleep holds only one option for us now and to describe it in words is virtually impossible. The finale of the sleep position involves a hand that lays across my face and jumps around through the night. Additionally sleep can involve noises if you weren't already resting in this dream Utopia. Renee also can make wolf noises during the night. I'm not joking.

Somebody is chuncky

We just returned back from our 2nd to last appointment before the birth. This Nuffer has been beefing up for winter. He/She is now approaching 6lbs already. The head is about 2 weeks above the rest of the body. Oops. I blame the Cassard pirate genes.

This trip also marked probably the biggest decision in this brief Nuffer history. The juxtaposition of meeting Uva (more to come later) and our doctor was eye opening. We were set to meet our doctor around 3 and Uva before. After spending the hour and half in an incense filled, octagon shaped room with Uva it was undeniably clear that we were about to change up our doctor at month 8 for this hilarious German midwife. She was what we were looking for since the beginning. She has over 500 births under her belt (or purple German pants) whichever you prefer.

Renee was a little worried of the doctor's reaction to our decision. As she told him he interjected "Oh is it Uva?" well she is great. She has tons of experience he told us and that she works with another top notch surgeon here at Cima. He was completely in favor of our decision and it was honestly a great relief to have our decision confirmed. Every time in the most meakest manner the doctor would ask her to be weighed. Post appointment she would ask me "And can you believe him?" He was yelling about me about my weight. I thought could this be like Lost where I'm on a another time plane and have actually been in a parellel universe? Because surely I missed this verbal abuse. I normally defended the doctor and would explain to Renee that he was just making sure the weight was in check and that it was more for health concerns. Also he never really did yell. I found interesting parallels between mentioning a pregnant woman's weight gain during pregnancy and mentioning the possibility of chemical imbalances. There is no way possible that either of these outlandish theories could possibly explain the current situation. I think this doctor confirmation and support also gave Renee a new respect for the doctor up until the point at which he said, "Ok lets get on the scale and see how much you ate in the States" I laughed and thought Doc your ass is on your own.

Cravings (part 2) - Maine

Lobsters- I am sorry for the tragedy we have inflicted on your people. As the picture suggests we rivaled the popular food chain Red Lobster in consumption for our stay in Maine. I soon found out the only way to hear a women say "I can't eat another lobster" is if they have consumed only lobster for 4 straight meals.

Maine was a great last trip for us pre-Nuffer. I was not aware that we participating in something called a Baby Moon. This was slightly distressing for 2 reasons. 1. I didn't think of the name. 2. 3rd Tri-mester romance is easier on paper. We spent 2 Nights in Bar Harbor Maine and then 1 night in Camden. Maine finally cooled Renee off, but it wasn't until we reached the top of Cadillac Mountain (the highest point on the east coast of the US).

Baby blog editing- Another side ritual of the baby blog is for Renee to try to sneak in and preview / edit all the photos I post. If she misses the impromptu editing during the post she tries to eliminate photos later. In my attempts to both entertain and document this historical event I am certainly jeopardizing my safety. The hilarious photo above shows what a pregnant person must do to eliminate back pain. This event was actually back in Boston on a crowded street and had me keeled over from laughter. Picture that position while in weird pregnancy pain but she didn't realize there was a small atm behind her where a guy was trying to get out of. The photos looks like she is squatting on the side of the road. I tried to document this event 3 times on video but Renee was much to wise.