Nuffin Noffins final womb appearance

Final ultrasound complete. Pre-Registation at hospital, check. Come to papa Nuffer.

Walks

We started trying to take more walks as per Uva's advice. The baby as she says is sitting a little too high still. The term used to describe the belly dropping in the final stages of labor is called lightening. Carrie has already had lightning and this is highly coveted by Renee. We have started getting up at 6 am to start our walks to that the baby will drop. Its a great time and very beautiful up here in the mountains. This time also affords me with 200 options to make false alarms on lightening.

Thanksgiving

We had a great thanksgiving with some friends Brian and Carrie and Uva "the grape" This photo of the bellies was talked about with Renee for months prior. That is a 14 lb turkey, 2 bellies, 2 babies. Isabella Taylor Bratton (7 lb 11 oz) and the baby soon to be formerly known as the Nuffin Noffin (8 lbs 7 oz). As suspected the cooking and preparations took place 48 hrs in advance. My grandma Jean told me that I should get used to not having Renee cook and that this thanksgiving was going to be very different. It was during this exact time that I was called in to help empty the turkey brine that had marinated for a full 12 hours. I told my grandma that actually it was quite opposite and a quote from Matt Waters came to mind. "That girl loves to eat" -MW.

Regulators- Mount up

These crazy videos can only be explained by the fact that in all the madness of packing I somehow had believed that the baby was coming the next day. So I guess this video shows what you need to do to prepare for a birth/pack combo.

Couvade syndrome

Of the 4 pictures above Renee floating on a raft is pretty self explanatory. However the other ones are something that fall under the couvade category.

Wikipedia defines couvade syndrome as - is a psychosomatic condition in which an individual close to an expectant mother, commonly her partner, experiences some of the same symptoms and behavior as the mother near the time of labor.

Guilty as charged.

When we first found out that we were pregnant, I was actually the reason for us going to the hospital. There was a brief stretch where I would walk out of my office and lie down and had begun to nap because I was feeling nauseous and tired. I kept telling her that something was wrong and strangely she was feeling the same. We deduced that it was a bad watermelon that was used for Gazpacho and we had mild food poisoning. While we were around San Jose I told Renee that I should have my stomach checked because something was feeling weird down there. As we were making our appointment Renee was making the Spanish jokes about me being pregnant. Someone was pregnant, it just wasn't me.

Thank god that I did not have one of those pot bellies that men get. My couvade was limited to slight morning sickness and heartburn. But it did allow me to run around the house and sing My my my my couvaddddddddaa. Like my sharona.

The funniest of the photos above is the ultrasound pictures above. The funny thing is that they are mine. Renee had gone back to the states last May I was here and still could not figure out what the stomach issue was. The doctor suggested that they check the abdomen. And 20 bucks for who can guess what that means. Well, its a guy getting an ultrasound (yes weird goo on the belly an all). I had my ultrasound about 2 months after Renee had her first. I can say that I was almost peeing in my pants with laughter when I found out they wanted to do one on me. I also wanted to pee in my pants because the doctors need to measure the bladder full and empty and then proceed to mash on your stomach.

When Renee returned home she saw the ultrasound pics on her desk and assumed that they were hers. However after closer examination I had to come clean about what had happened and realized that my couvade had reached an all time high.

I got it!

I had to take advantage of a rare moment to document this. I can only imagine this collateral being replayed on a loop. Definitely mirror and closet activated. Skinny jeans? Mine are just blue.

The feets

Every night no matter where I am, I am ambushed by "the feets". Let me bring you up to speed on the background on the feets. The feets, due to pregnancy edema, are swollen. I (the person who has caused this) rub the feets. The cream or as I call it "Oils and Lubricants" normally ambushes me every night. The lubricant is strategically placed around the house in the common areas. I have many times sat down on the couch and been sneak attacked by the lubricant. It sometimes will be wrapped in blankets, nestled in the corner, or in the bed. The funniest of which is the latter.

One all to common scenario is when I think that Renee has forgotten about the feets. I will be crawling into bed in complete darkness and will lay my head down smack on top of the oils and lubricants. Normally this makes me laugh because its so ridiculous that my bed is booby trapped by this impostor lubricant sleeping on my pillow. Also its so strategically positioned that you could actually think that the lubricant is actually sleeping there and you are the impostor. It usually cracks me up and I say "what in gods name is this lubricant doing in my bed".

The feets also are there own entity entirely separate from Renee. I like to think of them as if they have acquired some sort of AI. Since I rub the feet every night, I must know what to do when the foot is placed on me. These feet are all to wise to ignore. If ignored they will wiggle, disrupt vision, and grind into your back. This whole cat and mouse game always ends with the feets being rubbed and me trying to not use any lubricant.

I have used the following excuses.
It will ruin the couch.
No, no lubricant tonight.
My wrist hurts.
I can't find the lubricant. This is the same as when I hide the lubricant. There are always backups.

After conceding I usually will yell out. "And every night I rub the feets", in voice that is kind of a mix of Braveheart and Silence of the Lambs. And thus commences the 252 nd foot rub of the pregnancy.

Villas Caletas Sunday Brunch

This weekend we ducked into Caletas for a must needed relaxing Sunday. Renee has just now started having trouble sleeping and has sought out such aides as frozen pees, washcloths, frozen washcloths, tiger balm, and an ungodly amount of pillows. I walked into the living room and saw her sleeping in what could have been construed as the couch equivalent to a straight jacket.

Sleep holds only one option for us now and to describe it in words is virtually impossible. The finale of the sleep position involves a hand that lays across my face and jumps around through the night. Additionally sleep can involve noises if you weren't already resting in this dream Utopia. Renee also can make wolf noises during the night. I'm not joking.